i just don’t care.

hello voodoo babies,

since the announcement of my migrating to tumblr my wordpress has kind of fallen to the wayside, and for that i am very sorry.

truth be told; mentally, i’m in a very dark place right now. nothing really triggered it i just feel like i’m in a hole i can’t climb out of. this time of year is where my depression is in full swing. i’m happy on the outside but an empty shell on the inside. i have no motivation to do anything for myself and i can barely find reasons to get out of bed in the morning. i hate feeling this way because i feel selfish for feeling it which triggers a whole new bout of depression on its own.

i’m starting to realize that i’m turning 26 next month and i really have nothing to show for my 26 years of living. i don’t really have any friends, no savings, no plans, nothing. i started this year with so much hope for a better future for myself (excluding my hubby, because he’s amazing and so supportive of what i’m going through; he’s my saving grace in this shitstorm of my life.) i had so many creative plans, i wanted to open my first etsy shop and now.. i just don’t care.

i know i have my Love through every trial and tribulation in life one hundred and fifty percent. he has his friends, but i literally have none. parts of me are okay with that, less friends means less drama. less friends means more time to focus on me and my creative plans. less friends means the only person i have to turn to is Cody. and as much as i’d love to unload all of my life’s little problems on him, it’s not fair. i need “girl time” not “alone time”.

i don’t even know why i’m writing this, so pointless.

anyways,
keep it surreal bitches,
c.

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